Mark Messier, inspired by (Claude) Lemieux's improbable comeback at age 43, will announce his return to the NHL during a teary-eyed address on MSG. The Rangers, with no cap room, will be unable to sign the Moose, but the rival Islanders will swoop in and sign him to a four-year contract. Messier will begin the season with Doug Weight and Bill Guerin to form "The Viagra Line."
...that's not even remotely funny.
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